What are some careers out there that may interest me that only requires 2-4 years of tech ed? Everything that appeared to be interesting to me required college that I can't handle and I know I'll just fail it immediately. Not to mention, I was a D average student with a 1.0-1.5 GPA and I almost didn't graduate. I almost had to be held back AGAIN for the second time in my life. Then there's the fucking SAT or ACT tests that I have to take and I know I'll never pass, just because I was given elementary work in special ed classes. Education wise, I'm stupid. Very stupid. I have a hard time paying attention in class and almost nothing gets absorbed into my brain. I get lost easily and don't understand anything. Then I get Ds and Fs for the semester. Rarely Cs, Bs, and maybe a couple As. Unless if I cheat to get ahead, I'll always continue to fail. And I'm not that kind of person to cheat. I'm too honest.

I hate myself for not being smart education wise... will I ever have a sense of direction or purpose? Or am I just fooling myself into believing that I can? Thank you God for making life so fucking hard for me with no real goals.

I'm a chubby little nobody. With no life and no future. The end.

Current Mood: depressed

In all honesty, things aren't that bad at the moment. My grandma's getting better, my futon cover came today, though I have to take it back for a queen- it wouldn't close at an end!, went on a decorating shopping spree and my living room is about done.

I guess i've been in an agitated/emotional state mostly due to PMS. I missed a period completely last month due to drama, friendship issues, and family problems, but I'm doing okay now. I feel myself cramping up as we speak so it's a sign my body may get back to normal.

I think tomorrow I'm going to invest in some advil or something to help ease that and pray that the mood swings would go away soon.

At least my decorating projects are almost done. Expect pics soon!