At the moment it would be my computer. It's been giving me problems lately and Avast is kinda confusing to work with when it comes to virus protection, especially when I have to register and there's no key. I swear to god I downloaded the free version!

My biggest complaint about this PC right now is that it's painfully slow, thanks to spyware. Rather than just smashing it with a crowbar and have sparks flying, I'm just going to get it reformatted. Once reformatted and free of spyware, it will be back to its former fast glory.

I hope.

Tags: smashed, writer's block
Current Mood: annoyed

May? When did that happen? It can't be may already. It feels like just yesterday that it was the dead of winter and I was extremely miserable, cooped up in my apartment, my emotions in overdrive. I was even insane enough to be committed to an institution and just falling apart. By some miracle, I've been in a much better mood now that I'm seeing grass, leaf buds, and flowers springing up everywhere. The weather has been warmer and it's just easier for me to get out and do stuff. Maybe I have a form of SAD- a season mood disorder, but I'll never know.

With all that behind me, I can focus on other things, especially when I managed to numb my obsession with wanting a boyfriend. It probably won't ever happen so why keep pining for it? Instead, I'm going to focus on finishing decorating my apartment- I have almost 85% of it done now and it's gone through such an evolution. I'm also going to focus on moving out and I'm getting applications on the 20th after my dermatologist appointment. If I'm lucky enough, I may be able to relocate to another place before the year is out.

Not only will I focus on that I'll also focus on career possibilities. Like I stated before I'll just start with volunteering at the library. It's close by and I can come and leave as I please without worrying about the bus. I'll also focus on finding a career that will give me a sense of purpose. Why do I get this feeling that this empty hell that I suffered here may somehow connect with careers? Maybe I'm crazy.

I'm confident that May will be a good month for once and I can leave the other bad 5 months behind. The doors will soon close behind me with another one opening. I'm forever thankful that I have these changes coming.

Current Mood: hopeful